How emotions get the better hold of us, I’ve always thought
I’d see it coming but it catches me by surprise
at every turn, I begin to think it can’t be possible and yet still
you persist in my thoughts. “I’ve got to stop now,” I say
so, until time brings you closer again.
When I think of the way you type, the methodical movements on the keyboard
equipped with a forefinger on each hand, I try to imagine
how you processed the world. Whether you were acutely aware
of the disadvantages against us. I think of this and try to imagine
Of your existence in this world again. How you would view this new age in case
I haven’t grown big enough to protect you.
The name we call first,
warmth served to what I found
the most sincerely flawed abundance
that we could only ask for
no more but your unconditional love
in motherhood.
Will it change, do you think, that someday
I may look up from the kitchen counter and you won’t
be able to read my smile to know; somehow our thoughts may
transcend human words when we can no longer speak
the way we used to.
If it’s indeed true that the outset of our thoughts
brings about real life consequences, such as told
being the law of attraction, then it must be true.
My thoughts would have brought you here. A slight bend
away ago you may have passed me by, but if it’s indeed true
of the infinite ongoing parallels of time and reality,
this crevice in randomized time was the beginning of
your realization in my life.
Those nights seem infinite, when you’re feeling
restless. Missing out on all the universal signs, you’d think
it’d be more clear cut. The night is impassive to your search, it says
a change is to come by confused winds.
Dispelled by the morning light; have you found it yet?
What you were looking for.
Would relapse be those mornings I wake up too soon
to find that you were on the cusp of my imagination.
It seems to make more sense before I confess aloud
these longings that seem so ridiculous now.
I feel like I’ve been drunk or high,
but what it really is, is to wake up;
you’re not here anymore.
“I believe in love. Even if you say
so otherwise.” You’re a skeptic though and I know.
“People simply give up too soon
to figure it out.” The whole basic algorithm we’ve been
asking for is a simple equation after all.
You keep persisting.
Letting go of your hand, I felt fear
In case you would forget me, long after I
Had already begun to move on.
“Why do you think we want to be
Remembered?” You asked once before.
I stopped making believe
Of our fake dialogues since
I can remember.